There are few things in this world that can hurt a woman more than telling her that her dreams are out of reach. I haven't been told that yet but I fear those words...and that they are just around the corner.
Let me start by telling you a little about me and what my dreams have always been. I grew up as a military kids. We moved every four years. I've lived in multiple states and overseas. I loved that lifestyle. Most people would be annoyed by always packing up and moving on, by never having any real roots, but there was something about that lifestyle that called to something inside of me and brought out a sense of adventure in my soul. My dad retired when I was in 8th grade and we took a family vote and chose to settle down in Denver, Colorado. I love it here. I love the changing seasons, the mountains, the art and the food.
Ever since I was a kid I knew that there were a few things worth fighting for. The first is friends. When you move as much as I did (and if we weren't moving there was usually another friend that was) friends were something you held on to and held dear. I still feel that way. The second thing I learned to fight for was family. As nutty as my family is, I wouldn't trade them for any other family; there are a few people I'd love to add to my family but really no one I would get rid of...they make the family who we are. My mother was a stay at home mom for most of my life. She cleaned, cooked, ran errands, hosted numerous sleepovers and at times when my father was deployed, acted as both mom and dad. Seeing her and the way she loved my brothers and myself inspired me to also want to be a mother. If you had asked me a decade plus a few years what I wanted to be when I grew up I would confidently look you in the eye and tell you that I want to be a wife and mother. I always wanted four kids; I'm not sure why but four was my magic number.
LONG story short, I didn't and haven't exactly gotten my wish. I am a wife. I am married to what I know is the best man in the world. He is sweet, long-suffering, kind, providing and loving man. He makes me laugh and holds me when I cry. He believes in my dreams even if they change from day to day. He knows that once I get an idea in my head there is little he can do to stop it from happening. Jeffrey is my world and without him I was and would be loss. He has brought so much to my life including a sweet and passionate little girl; Nevaeh. Nevaeh is Jeffrey's five year old (or as she would tell you... 5 1/2 year old) daughter. So in one year I've become a wife and a mother. One would think that all of my dreams have come true. Well almost.
Over the next couple of days, weeks and maybe years; my blog will grow to show the challenges of being a step parent and the trials of conquering infertility. Yes I have been told that having a baby may never happen for us. So where do I go from here? How do you bury your dream of 10+ years and build a new one? How do you deal with a Mother in law who is convinced you are pregnant now, or if we would just relax things will happen naturally. I'm not sure. But join me in following A Mother's Intuition.
No comments:
Post a Comment